Who Is Detective Mary?

Well, Mary does a great job of outlining how we met below — but the reason why I wanted Mary to share her story and makeup routine with you is because:

• she’s an amazing writer
• I wanted to force her out of her male-dominated bubble (I know oh-so-well how that can be suffocating at times) and
• I’ve seen this girl come full circle in embracing her natural beauty & use of makeup in her day-to-day life

Aside from that, she’s one of the hardest working people I know and always makes time for her friends. In this world when everyone is “busy,” it’s nice to have a friend who always manages to carve out time (she doesn’t have) to bake a yummy chocolate cake or just lend a listening ear. I touched on the topic of feminitiy in male-dominated workplaces in my post,  Military + Mommiehood + Makeup, which you can read here but I really wanted to offer a different perspective from a “normal” non-beauty industry perspective.

So alas, meet Mary.

Balancing Femininity and Makeup In Male-Dominated Professions: A Personal Perspective

When Natalie approached me about writing a guest blog, I agreed IMMEDIATELY — without hesitation or any thought, whatsoever. It was a tad reckless on my part, because as soon as, “Sure! Why not?!” left my lips, I realized I hadn’t given THAT much thought to my beauty and skin care routine. But after some reflection, I considered how my profession influenced my beliefs about beauty, and I thought it was maybe worth some dissection and discussion.

My Experience

Natalie and I met in 2004, while we were at a summer college program. A lot has happened during this time to include graduating college, joining the military, leaving the military, switching careers. You can mature and AGE.

After college, I commissioned in the U.S. Air Force, where I served as an officer for about four and a half years. In that time, I deployed to Peru where I lived in a twelve-person tent on a dusty plot in an indigenous part of the Andes for a few months. I also spent a tour in Afghanistan, where I lived in a wooden hut in dry, mountainous terrain for half a year. But full disclosure: much of my time was spent in a nice, air-conditioned office, but I still had to don the Blues and BDUs (professional and field uniforms, for you civilian readers).

I eventually moved on to a corporate career, where I enjoyed working within an almost exclusively female office. I absolutely loved it, and I was thrilled to have the chance to express my style and individuality, but I guess I couldn’t resist being in a uniform…

As a surprise not only to myself, but to my friends and family, I became a police officer — a uniformed, gun-wearing, patrol-car-driving, police officer. Not everything you see about policing on television is accurate, but COPS would paint a decent picture of a handful of my more exciting days. But those days came to an end when I recently promoted to detective. I have since hung up the uniform, but I still wear the gun!

I’m certainly no G.I. Jane, having served as a public affairs officer in what other armed services lovingly call the “Chair Force.” And I’m definitely not a Tactical Tina, especially now that I switched from the streets to a desk. However, I do have the unique experience (and initial inexperience) of developing a professional, feminine appearance in a male-dominated career field.

The Evolution of my “Beauty” Philosophy 

The reason I shared my resume is to reveal some of the transitions I had, and how they impacted the opinion and practice of beauty and professionalism I hold today.

My first years in the Air Force were, in a word, embarrassing. I’m not referring to my work performance or anything in that realm. But if you took a snapshot of me in my professional life back then, I would burn the image to hide the evidence.

I REFUSED to wear make-up.

Beyond moisturizer, sunblock and clear mascara (why?!), I didn’t wear make-up. I’m not saying this to be critical of women who choose not to for whatever reason, but it was my personal rationale that confounds me to this day.

I wanted to assimilate. I did not want to be feminine. I felt that because I was in the same uniform as men, I needed to maintain this androgynous appearance to be considered professional.

I’m not sure how I convinced myself of this, but I eventually took notice of other women around me, and they were pretty! I remember admiring another lieutenant who impressed me with her confidence and performance, and commanders were impressed by her, as well. And in addition to absolutely killing it at work, she was attractive and feminine!

I slowly came to adopt conservative beauty products, like tinted moisturizer and ACTUAL mascara. For the infamous Blues Mondays, I eventually splurged with some cheap eye shadow. However, the real revelation came when I joined women in the business world. Between my supervisors and peers, I found that these ladies’ personal styles represented an entire spectrum, but every last one of these women was a true professional. They were smart, organized, progressive and totally motivated. In fact, my boss’ boss was just that. A straight up BOSS! But in addition to their remarkable professional traits, on the surface, they were groomed, polished and just beautiful.

#3 Urban Decay’s Naked Palette

You may have noticed I made no mention of mascara, and that is because everyone’s got their fave, and I practically switch mine as often as I switch toothbrushes. But my primary personal rule when it comes to mascara: save the clear stuff for your brows!

Share Your Thoughts

Thanks for reading! Are you a woman working in a male-dominated industry? What are some of your favorite products? What’s your approach to femininity in the workplace? Have you seen an evolution like Mary? If so, please comment below and let’s get a healthy dialogue going on. If you are curious, I wrote a post back in the day about military and motherhood and how I myself, lived with this double life of feminine and fierceness. You can read the post here.

Stay Beautiful,
xo
Natalie Setareh